So there I was, sitting at my computer, browsing online business websites, when a sales page caught my eye.

It was pretty and well-designed. The copy was decent and the testimonials pulled me in. No yellow highlighting, no time-limit pressure, just good writing and what seemed like a good product. Still, I wasn't sold - after all, I do have a budget to keep and I wasn't sure the product would be right for me.

Then I scrolled down a little and, out of nowhere, I saw the <ninjas> tag.

All the lights in the room went dark and I felt a sharp blade pressed against my throat.

"Keep scrolling and click the Buy Now button," said a voice in my right ear.

I scrolled to the Buy Now button.

My mouse cursor hovered over the button.

"Click it," said the voice, and the pressure on my throat increased. I could feel the blood trickling down my-

"Wait, stop."

Wait. You're saying this is all a fantasy?

There's no <ninjas> tag?

Nobody's going to spontaneously appear in my room and hold a knife to my throat?

No matter what you do, you - as a service provider or product creator - can't actually force someone to spend their money if they don't want to?

Well, how about that?

Let's say that you've created a 32-page ebook. From conception to completion, you conservatively estimate (excluding all the times you were staring off into space in front of a blank page or not really thinking about the book but your brain was churning in the background, for example) that it took you 40 hours to create the book. You did everything yourself - writing, layout, graphics, the sales page, etc. You truly believe that this book will help people.

Would you feel guilty selling it for $1?

How about $2?

Keep going.

How about $5?

How about $10?

What's the break point? At which point do you transition from "no, that seems like a reasonable price" to "wait, I'm uncomfortable with that"? Why is the break point there, and not $1 higher or lower?

Would the break point change if you'd contracted some of the work (the graphics or layout, say) out to someone who's exactly as competent as you are? Would you feel comfortable charging more for a product you'd paid someone else to help create?

Let's take you out of it

What if it were someone else's ebook? They've done all the work, and you're selling it as an affiliate, for a 50% cut of the profits in exchange for your work promoting the book.

Would you be comfortable advertising it for $1? (You'd get 50 cents per copy.)

How about $2?

How about $5 or $10?

What's the break point when it's not your product?

Do you, ultimately, believe that someone else selling an identical product is entitled to sell it for more than you are?

And if you do, why do you think that is?

Seeing as how today is Halloween, there's going to be an awful lot of "Trick or treat!" heard this evening. But these days, it just means "give me candy!", when in fact the original meaning was a bit more sinister.

When the tradition began, the "trick" in question was a prank done in the dead of night by marauding bands of children under the auspices of All Souls' Eve. There was rarely serious damage done, but homeowners could stave off the kids by offering hospitality - a treat. "Trick or treat", therefore, was the childhood version of a protection racket - "give me a goodie or I'll prank you."*

A prank, though, through the eyes of a neutral observer, is just an interesting, unexpected event initiated by one party that affects another party. (And indeed, there's a long tradition of beneficial pranks - one modern incarnation is flash mobs.) So a trick could just as easily be something that the target likes.

With that in mind, when you talk to your people, how often are you doing unexpected, interesting, beneficial things, and how often do you just ask them to give you candy?

Trick and treat. Stop asking for candy and do something amazing.

* My reference here is Death Makes A Holiday: A Cultural History of Halloween.

You know, there's a word for tasks that you're eminently prepared for and fully qualified for and that you know, absolutely, that you can perform without error:

Boring.

I wonder, sometimes, if the people who do things “ironically” understand that it’s a form of mockery.

Listening to music you don’t like “ironically” is a personal publicity stunt, but it’s also making fun of the people who actually like that music.

Wearing a trucker hat “ironically” is mocking truckers.

Drinking Pabst Blue Ribbon “ironically” is mocking people who drink it voluntarily.

It’s a way for people to feel better than other people, and that sucks.

But I also wonder if the people doing this stuff realize just how goddamn stupid it looks.

“Hey, look, I’m doing something I don’t enjoy!”

Where’s the benefit? Where’s the cachet? How does doing things you don’t like “ironically” make anyone’s life better?

Wouldn’t it be better just to enjoy yourself?

Do things because they’re fun. Drink the beer you like. Wear hats because they’re awesome. Listen to Britney Spears because goddammit it’s got a beat and you can dance to it.

Don’t mock. Enjoy your life. Be interested in things because you find them interesting and you don’t have to justify that to anybody.

Fuck “irony”. Your time and your life are worth more than that.